Well, I’m on yet another mission to find a great church this coming up weekend. I tried out one for awhile and it was just…too big. I haven’t had the time (because of working most Sunday evenings) or chance to go to their group for people my age. It’s become very frustrating.

Maybe I’ll find something smaller…there are a few churches that have mostly younger folks in the congregation. Goodness…I’m not really younger anymore. 26 in a little over a week. Scary.

Anyhow…some time before that, I was trying the Catholic thing. Don’t even ask me why. I wasn’t raised Catholic; quite the opposite, really. My brother, though, converted at some point to Messianic Judaism and I guess I was just looking to get involved in something..Kind of similar? Ok,not the same, but I must admit that some of their traditions…

The Catholic ones, of course…that get passed on from family to family is all kind of appealing. But yeah, I had gotten this free book through the internet and gone to St. Thomas Moore here in Kalamazoo.

Let’s just say I got lost when I found out that apparently? My version of the Bible was missing books. Folks! I memorized the books of the Bible at age 5. Sorry, I couldn’t squeeze any more into my memory. And purgatory?  I can’t even begin to comprehend it. Not that there is anything particularly wrong with Catholicism.  It just turned out to not be for me.

I had already made the decision to not attend another Assemblies of God church (even though there are 3 or 4 in the area). After what happened when my parents separated…Let’s just say that a pastor telling my mom that God would NEVER forgive her for divorcing my dad? Was a bit heartbreaking for me. It was a LONG time before I ever stepped back into a church. That was over five years now….Seems like yesterday though.

I just don’t know where to start looking again. I have been to a few others and I’m just getting tired. Getting tired of getting to know people and then deciding to leave the church. Or just not feeling comfortable. I hate the feeling I get when it’s like “ugh, I got up early to hear YOU speak! You can’t even keep me awake!”

And I hate that even though I’ll be back on Western’s campus this fall…That I’m so freaking old and won’t feel right chilling with the college freshman in the campus chapel. I’m almost 10 years older than them. I’m not called to be a youth/college leader. SO, yeah. I have no idea.
God, you need to make this a little easier on me.